


Callings

by owlmoose



Series: Pieces of Thedas [14]
Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Awakening
Genre: M/M, Reunions, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-31
Updated: 2012-10-31
Packaged: 2017-11-17 10:53:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/550778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/owlmoose/pseuds/owlmoose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nathaniel never expected to see his friend Anders again. At their reunion, a few things come more clear for both of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Callings

**Author's Note:**

> Written for iapetsneume on Tumblr, to the prompt "Nathaniel and Anders - a moment alone to talk in Kirkwall after Finding Nathaniel."

The return trek through the Deep Roads was awkward and uncomfortable, thanks largely to Carver's unwillingness to speak civilly to his sister, the anger and resentment coming off him in waves only to bounce off her pretended indifference. Nathaniel found himself wishing for a darkspawn attack just to break up the mood, but none came. The trip had been a odd one all around, really: running into Hawke had been strange enough, but then for her to have Anders in her party... He'd kept sneaking looks at the mage, wondering at the strange pile of coincidences that had brought them together. But finding a time to speak with him had been impossible, and so Nathaniel had contented himself with a simple farewell at the surface, Hawke's party going into town while he led the other Wardens to the safehouse on Kirkwall's outskirts, to rest and resupply before heading back to Ferelden. Anders could have gotten back in contact at any time. The fact that he had chosen not to do so was a clear enough signal to anyone. 

And yet there he was, three hours later, waiting for them on the docks, leaning against a stack of crates, arms crossed. He straightened at their approach, meeting Nathaniel's gaze with his chin held level. "Predictable as always, young Master Howe?"

Nathaniel closed the gap between them in a few steps. "You, or me?"

Anders shrugged. "Take your pick."

"Hmph." Nathaniel turned to Carver and jerked his head toward the ship. "Go ahead and board, I'll be along shortly." Carver nodded, pointedly not looking at Anders as he gathered up the rest of the Wardens and led them onto their ship.

"I knew he'd do well with you," Anders said once they were gone.

Nathaniel nodded. "He's an asset to the Order, no doubt of that, and he seems more than content."

"I might have suggested it even had it not been necessary to save his life." Anders looked up the gangway. "Sometimes conscription works out best for everyone."

A sharp retort rose to Nathaniel's mind, but then he saw the lines around Anders's eyes and thought better of it. "And you? You are happy here?"

Anders shrugged. "I'm of use. And free. More so than I was with the Wardens."

Nathaniel arched a brow. "Free to live in a dark and smelly Darktown hovel? To spend your days and nights dodging Templars?"

"And I wasn't dodging Templars with the Wardens?" Anders narrowed his eyes and tightened his fists. "Yes, they did a fine job of protecting me from Templars."

Nathaniel winced; it was hard to argue with the bitterness he heard in Anders's voice. He had seen the aftermath of the attack on Anders in the wood behind Vigil's Keep, and the memory of the carnage had given him nightmares for a week. Well, worse nightmares. Still, he had to try. "Things changed when Elissa and Alistair came back from Weisshaupt. She sent the worst of that lot packing, got them reassigned to Orlais, and then she made it clear to all parties that future interference would not be tolerated. It was all we could do to keep her from charging off to Val Royeaux to give the Divine herself a piece of her mind." 

A smile tugged at the corner of Anders's lips. "Now that, I would have liked to see." 

"You still could." Nathaniel spoke quietly, but could not help the intensity that crept into his words. "She misses you. So does Sigrun. As do I." He raised a hand to Anders's shoulder and let it rest there, with a light squeeze.

Anders lowered his eyes, stayed silent for a long moment. Then he raised them, and Nathaniel stepped quickly back -- Anders's eyes glowed a brilliant blue, shining almost white, a righteous glow he had seen only one other time in his life: in Kristoff's face. "You... is it you?!"

"Yes." The voice that replied was not Anders's, but another that Nathaniel had known just as well. "It is I."

"Justice." Nathaniel swallowed, hard, and forced himself to look his friend -- both of his friends -- straight on, without flinching. The light had spread beyond the eyes to encompass his face, his whole being; it was almost too bright to look into directly. "So that's why you left."

"In part." The glow faded, and Anders closed his eyes and shook himself; when he opened them, they were a tawny brown once more. "We left for many reasons, but yes."

Nathaniel pulled himself tall again. "It doesn't matter. You'd both be welcome to return."

Anders smiled, shook his head. "I can't, Nathaniel. I'm not like you. Becoming a Grey Warden gave you purpose. Something to believe in. A reason to carry forward when your whole life was turned upside-down. For Carver, too. I can see it on both of you, glowing like a brand." He tapped his fingers against the griffin device on Nathaniel's armor. "That was never true for me. Elissa saved my life by conscripting me, and I owe her a great debt. But being a Grey Warden, itself, was never my calling. Joining with Justice, fighting for mage freedom: that is where I found my purpose. I can't do that with the Wardens. My life is here; my purpose is here. My death, when it comes, will be in service to the mages, not wasted in the Deep Roads against some nameless genlock."

Nathaniel stiffened and pulled back, eyes narrowing; Anders sighed, and his shoulders fell. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean... I believe in what the Grey Wardens do, you know that. If you weren't out there, holding back the darkspawn, there'd be no mages to free. I apologize."

"Accepted." Nathaniel took a deep breath, shaking off the sting of the unintentional insult before stepping close again, resting his hands on Anders's shoulders. "If you ever change your mind--"

His headshake was sharp and certain. "I won't. But the offer is appreciated. Tell the Commander..." His voice trailed off, and he looked to the sky, eyes soft. "Give her my thanks. And my apologies."

 _For what?_ But Nathaniel found that he did not want to ask, did not want to know what Anders might be planning as his next step toward mage freedom. The Grey Wardens took no part in politics, and no issue was more political than this one. That line, he dared not cross. Not even for Anders. Instead, he drew his old friend into a quick embrace, clapping him on the back as Anders responded in kind. 

"Take care of yourself," Anders said.

"You too." Nathaniel drew away and looked Anders up and down one last time. "Goodbye, then."

"Farewell." Anders raised his hand and kept it raised as Nathaniel walked away, up the gangway and onto the deck of the boat, and Nathaniel didn't see him so much as move until the docks and the city were out of sight.


End file.
